11 May 2010

You don't have to live this way...



I’m really good at juggling you know.  But lately I seem to be dropping a few too many balls...

I remember when Symon and I were newly married – I was 18 (yes, I can hear your gasps of horror) and he was 21 years old.  Life was exciting, full and busy.  We pretty much lived and breathed youth ministry and church life day and night.  Who cared about the dishes at home – sometimes they sat there for two or three days.  We were carefree, young and had so much time on our hands.

There were really only a few balls to juggle back then.

As you grow up and gain more responsibilities, more balls are added to the mix.  People often ask me how I have the time to make stuff and bake things with having 4 kids and a crazy husband who sometimes acts like a fifth child (love you honey)... I’ve just learned to manage my time wisely - until now.

Lately my dearest husband has had the habit of saying the most annoying phrase over and over at the most inopportune of times.  While I’m wailing about not having enough time to do this or that or make a certain meeting or finish a certain job and expecting to hear him offer some sort of sympathetic reply or offer me a pat on the back, he’ll retort back to me “You don’t have to live this way.” (in a sing-song tone of voice that makes you grit your teeth in annoyance).

It really irks me... because I know he’s right.

I often find it hard to say ‘no’ to people – I’m one of those silly people who will sacrifice my life away just to keep people happy.  Sometimes it’s the right thing to do, and sometimes it’s not.
  
Recently I read an article about learning to say ‘no’.  It pointed out something I’ve never quite thought of before... that when you say ‘no’ you aren’t necessarily being negative, you are just saying ‘yes’ to something else more important.

I have some very valuable ‘juggling balls’ in my life... my relationship with Jesus, my dearest husband who is also my bestest buddy, my darling children, my family and friends... and those opportunities that come up in life that you just know are divinely appointed.

Those are the kinds of balls that I don’t want to be dropping because the ‘meeting ball’ or ‘softie-order ball’ or ‘I-don’t-want-to-make-them-feel-bad-situation ball’ made the juggling act impossible to maintain.

I don’t ever want to be the person that walked on past the wounded man because I just had too much stuff to do.

So I’m starting to learn how to juggle all over again... and this time I’m choosing my balls wisely. 


Article featured here on Delve.

22 comments:

  1. yep, sometimes we have to say no to good things to make room for great things. here here paisley jade;)

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  2. so true... :)

    I think we all need to learn our limits. It's good to do stuff for others but only if it doesn't cross those limits. We're no good to anyone burnt-out!

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  3. Good stuff, so true!! Think I'm going to quote part of that on my twitter!!

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  4. :) now go have a coffee and put your feet up

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  5. Fabulous stuff there Kristy!

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  6. and in amonst that theres the looking after yourself ball.... I'm right there learning the same life lesson with you PJ!

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  7. Good on you girl!!!

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  8. "you are just saying ‘yes’ to something else more important" OH YEAH! great post missy!

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  9. I too am just learning that sometimes saying "no" to someone else, is the best thing for me and my family...

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  10. good for you! :) xo

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  11. Great post - it's reminded me to make sure that what I'm spending my time on is what is valuable in life and not just because I feel obliged to do it!

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  12. Sounds very similar to my life... juggling juggling juggling, until at some point, I'm so exhausted - I have to drop the balls.
    Or at least neatly put them to the side.
    I'm learning too - it's okay to say "no".

    I've been with my husband since I was 15. We got married when I was 19. Yep, been with him half my life. He too, will say things like... "no one is putting these expectations on you, besides yourself."
    Argh... He's right!

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  13. Oh my goodness, I'm such a yes person it drives me crazy. Loved this post. Loved what you said about saying no to some things is really only saying yes to something more important. Wow.

    And you are so cute!

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  14. I love when we find a companion that can give us reminders like that! My husband's phrase (often repeated) is, "Something's gotta go" - a suggesetion without being controlling. My usual response: "No, I just need to do things faster!" He shakes his head, and 24 hours later, I collapse in a heap and echo his words in defeat. Hoorah for balancing-us-out-spouses! (swung over after I kept seeing your name in the comments at all my favourite haunts!) ;)

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  15. That's awesome Kristy. What a great post. Are you sending this in to DELVE?? You should!

    Also, my friend Donna has started an online mag as well; I'll bet she'd love this article. Email me if you;re interested and I'll give you are email address.
    if it's not one ball too many!
    xx

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  16. this is the second post I have read in the past few days about learning to say no. I love the way you put it, about juggling the balls.
    I really need to listen to all these messages :)

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  17. I so could have written this - thanks for making me think again about what is important - I have been doing the same thing lately - spreading myself too thinly.

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  18. That was a good read, especially as it resonated with me. I've never been awfully good at saying no, however recently I've had to practice that more than ever.
    BTW, its not shock horror about being 18 when you got married. I was barely 19 when I married my wonderful hubby. It seems so young now but in light of the things that have happened to me since then it was all part of Gods plan.

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  19. Great post Kristy, I have lots of balls in the air at the moment. This helped me to get some perspective. xx

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