The things they forgot to tell me about motherhood...

By PaisleyJade - Friday, November 19, 2010

Here are a few of the things they forgot to tell me about motherhood...

Say goodbye to shaven legs, plucked eyebrows and painted toenails for those first few years with children... they will be about as regular in your home as a screen door on a submarine.

Those mornings that you decided to stay in your pyjamas a bit longer once the kids are off to school will inevitably be the morning that you have surprise visitors.  Get used to it - it's an unwritten law.

Your definition of 'free time' in those early years with young children will become as simple as 5 minutes alone in the loo (and that's if you are really really lucky).

Those things that you judged your parents for, you most likely will do yourself... like forgetting which day is class photo day at school.

When on an outing, you will usually always bump into someone you know when you a) have a screaming child with you b) you have just realised that your top is nicely decorated with baby sick c) have a child who forgot to hold on for the toilet.

Say goodbye to long, in depth conversations with your spouse while your young children are around... facebooking each other is a way easier way to communicate in those early parenting years.

That the really 'testing' child will usually have a smile that melts your heart (and they know just when to use it).

When you yell at your kids at home (or spouse), there will usually always be a visitor coming around the corner to visit right at that exact moment.

Those picturesque photos of families on picnics together or  fun beach trips are always snapped right before someone spills their juice, gets stung by a bee or starts grizzling about the sand in their undies.

Thankfully, the brain has a wonderful way of erasing most of the memories of these moments... and maybe that is why every parent I know forgot to tell me about them.

Disclaimer: If you are not a parent yet, I do hope I haven't put you off. 

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  1. So, so true! I'm sure I could think of a few more to add if each baby hadn't killed off so many brain cells!

  2. Yeah, like how you will develope an immunity to things that previously revolted you- poos, wees, vomits and drool!

  3. Ha ha, I can identify with each and every one of these very true insights! I loved seeing hubby wearing the baby carrier (I know some men who wouldn't be seen dead!) but mine was very helpful like that too.

    And I have been caught out in my PJ's so often its not funny!

  4. Haha..I love your post...
    Everyone has to read it before start having kids :o)

    Greetings from Amsterdam,

  5. Anonymous8:26 am

    Haha, soooo true! Love it! Especially the one about yelling at the kids. Either you will have visitors coming over, or your neighbour will chose that exact moment to step into their yard or pop their head over the fence to say hi. Happens every freakin time! lol

  6. Brilliant! So true, so funny and clever of you to put together with fab photos. I read this whilst nodding my head and laughing. Oh yes, I have been there and am still there! xx

  7. Love the pics! (And nope, you havent put me off... well, not really... :-) )

  8. Oh how I love this.
    If only someone would have told us this....but then don't know what you have is so wonderful til you have it.
    Thanks for sharing....from one mom to another....YAHOO for all the things we never knew!!!!:))))

  9. Anonymous9:49 am

    oh how true your words are!!!
    love it PJ!

    and what about the amount of love that just ontinues pouring out your heart...overwhelming at time, it is!

    love and light

  10. Very true! Love it!

  11. thanks for sharing!!

  12. Very true!! Ah the joys of parenting - lucky we love them x

  13. Oh good. I thought the trouble fitting in shaving my legs was just me.

  14. Can I add...

    Your definition of clean will change significantly.

    A good night's sleep consists of only being woken up once.

    Indiginity becomes the norm.

    A dishwasher is a necessity not a luxury.

    You may forget to brush your hair before you go out.

    oh, I'm just getting started! Love it PJ

  15. lol! and screen doors on a sub! I have never heard that before.

  16. hehe I know it ;)
    love the photos....thought your hubby had on a massive cast before I realised it was a baby sling! :)

  17. Hahahaha yep you are so right!
    Very cool post PJ.

  18. This post is AWE....some.

  19. haha...great thats why you and are always FBing!?

  20. love love love this post :-)

  21. Great post...all true every single thing! It still put a smile on my face. xx

  22. Yes, they forgot to put these gems in the parenting books ;)

    How about the mysteries of motherhood: Like the fact that socks, hairties, felts can disappear. Or the fact that kids can wear out their shoes so quickly?!?! Or How come we can end one day soo exhausted and frustrated, and the next day feel like you are on top of the world.
    (My 6 year old son wrote "I love you" in the steamed up shower door for me today *bliss*!)

  23. After today I have one to add...
    Noone ever tells you that you will drive to school and back 5 times in one day!!
    With school drop off and pick up and three trips back and forward for the disco I can probably do it blindfolded now (but that would be irresponsible! lol).

  24. as I am in the middle of the early years of my first one, I'm not really past the letting go of the 'free time' bit. Haven't gotten to the rest, but I'm sure I don't have long to wait!

  25. haha o true .. I have one of those cheeky smilers myself! And we often use the toilet to get a break haha :-)
    However, I'm sure the older and wiser will say cherish every moment of it because before you know it they'll be all grown up! :-)

  26. LOVED your post! It is all so true! I keep deodorant in my car now because I often forget to put it on hurrying everyone out the door :)

  27. Ellymay4:56 pm

    You need to put all these thoughts and photo's into a book, would be a best seller.

  28. seriously how cute are those kids, adorable!

  29. YIKES! NOW you tell me!!! Due in February and am pretty sure I can't stop it now, not unless my pelvic floor gets strong like steel ;)

  30. this is so fantastic!!
    it's like you were writing my life story. thank you so much for sharing this with us!

  31. Anonymous7:50 pm

    Hi there. I found your blog via Great Fun 4 Kids. What a BRILLIANT post! So refreshingly honest! I had a giggle when I read "....forgetting which day is class photo day at school." Ha so true! I forgot our daughter's very first school one so she ended up looking rather manky wearing scruffy old shoes & holes in her tights...ooops! I really love reading these kinds of posts and you write them so well - so truthful but so funny. Love the way you include photos too. Awesome. Thanks - it brightened my day!

  32. Love it... and so very true. I have a toddler who thinks it's his duty to join me when I'm in the loo, and then flush it for me when I'm done. So I don't even get five minutes alone there!

    And pyjamas till midday is not unheard of.. I often greet the post lady or courier with my jammies still on, hair not done, baby vomit on my shoulder... the list goes on! But I wouldn't give it up for anything. My kids are priceless and I'm so blessed to have them.

    You have a beautiful family by the way!


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